സോഷ്യൽ മീഡിയ പോസ്റ്റുകളിലൂടെയാണ് നേഹ അയ്യർ കൂടുതൽ അറിയപ്പെടുന്നത്. എട്ട് വർഷത്തെ പ്രണയത്തിന് ശേഷമാണ് നേഹയും അവിനാഷും വിവാഹിതരായത്. ആറു വർഷമായി അവൾ ഒരു കുഞ്ഞിനായി കാത്തിരിക്കുകയായിരുന്നു.
ഒടുവിൽ ആ സന്തോഷവാർത്ത ജീവിതത്തിലേക്ക് വന്നപ്പോൾ, ദൈവം തനിക്ക് വലിയ നഷ്ടം നൽകിയെന്ന് നേഹ കൂട്ടിച്ചേർത്തു. അവിനാശ് ഹൃദയാഘാതം മൂലം മരിച്ചു. ജീവിതത്തിൽ ഒറ്റപ്പെട്ട അദ്ദേഹം പിന്നീട് വിഷാദത്തിലായി. ഹ്യൂമൻസ് ഓഫ് ബോംബെ പേജിൽ, കഴിഞ്ഞ വര്ഷം താരം തന്റെ ജീവിതം എങ്ങനെ വീണ്ടെടുത്തു എന്ന് പങ്കുവെക്കുന്നു.
“When we first found out we were pregnant, Avinash and I just stared at each other in silence — it didn’t sink in. But when it did, we felt a surge of happiness flow into our hearts as we held each other close. It was our happiest moment. We’d been best friends for 8 years, and married for 6, and wanted nothing more than to have our own little person to raise together.
When we were best friends, he had a thing for me, but I friend-zoned him! Still, we spent all our time together, had endless conversations, went spontaneous trips — we were inseparable. Then when I finally realised I had feelings for him and confessed, he said, ‘Finally, some sense has been knocked into your head!’ and now I was having a baby with him… my best friend!
But, 5 days after finding out we’re pregnant, everything changed. Avinash was playing TT one evening, when I got a call informing me that he had collapsed. I ran down with glucose, thinking it could be exhaustion. But when I saw him lying there, looking lifeless, I ran over to give him CPR — I shook him, and begged him to wake up. But nothing worked.
We took him to the ICU, but I was told that he was no more — he’d had a cardiac arrest. I couldn’t believe it — he was young and healthy. How could this happen? I remember breaking down to a complete stranger, and then freezing in sheer shock.
The month after was terrible. I’d lock myself in my room, draw the curtains and lie in bed for hours. I’d shut everyone out and switched off my phone. I couldn’t get myself to cry because I knew it would affect my pregnancy. But, I was completely numb — how could my best friend whom I’d imagined spending my life with just leave? But I found the strength to cope because I had dealt with my mother’s suicide just 3 years ago. Slowly, I shifted all my energy towards the baby.
I knew that if I continued like that, it would affect our child, so I pushed myself to go out with friends, meditate and participate in happiness and reading groups. Then, the most miraculous thing happened 5 months ago — little Ansh came into this world on my husband’s birthday.
Everything from his smile, to his mischievous eyes is a spitting image of Avinash. Believe it or not, I’ve only begun to process that Avinash is no more. I break down every now and then, but I keep working and push myself for Ansh with my family’s help.
It’s been a year since Avinash passed, but there are moments when his absence hits me in the coldest ways possible — like when I see other couples bickering about their baby, my heart breaks. But then I look into Ansh’s mischievous eyes, and the way he sticks his tongue out at me exactly the way Avinash would when I’d tease him, and suddenly I feel like Avinash never left… and maybe that’s because it’s true. Love never really dies.”